what about this one?

Sometimes when I'm bored I like to search different images on yahoo... today I chose rings and I think I found one of the cutest pictures of 'rings' that I've ever seen and when I go home I am going to recreate this same image! How cute is this?? (ok I know this may not be cute to everyone but.. it is to me :) so... ya)

I cant breathe...

Have you ever felt like you were having a panic attack for no reason? I get that way every single day of my life! At about this time of day too... funny how that works isn't it? Well the truth is that everyday between 2:30-3:30 in the afternoon is when my conversation with Kasey ends on IM and I start to feel like I can't breathe anymore my heart starts pounding and I can feel little pieces around the edges starting to break and fall off... I told him about it the other day and being the man that he is asked if I needed some glue. I responded with 'only if your bringing it to me personally' While I know that he understands that its 'hard' for me to be here waiting for him I don't know if he actually understands that its more than just me missing him. Its quite silly when you think about it actually... when we miss people. We still do the same things they just seem to be different when that person isn't around. I still wake up everyday and go to work, I still watch the discovery channel and I still go out to eat with friends and yet somehow with him not being here makes everything I do somehow not as good as it was before, almost to the point of 'whats the point' he should be leaving Iraq somewhere around the 21st of September, however I am not holding my breath because if there is one thing I have learned from the ARMY in the last 5 years its to NEVER get your hopes up! If you do you will always be let down. Now having said that and feeling all brave and what not, there are only 137 days left until September 2oth which is the Sunday of the week that he is supposed to leave to come home! I'm only a little excited though because he will still be in Kansas until May but that is OK because we are going to Disneyland in December and he will be home home in Utah the whole month of December!
Today he left without really saying goodbye, it was mostly my fault because I kept asking him for just 5 mins and he said no and got offline before I could argue the matter... I HATE when he does that! I have to fight back tears at work because all I can think of everyday when he leaves is 'what if that was it and I never see him or get to talk to him again' I know its an awful thought but... I just cant help it! I'm hoping in September my stress will reduce and my skin will go back to normal!

not good enough

So Kasey did not like the picture of himself I put on my blog yesterday so I went on his myspace and stole these ones :) and he better LOVE them lol! (no I am not stalking my own boyfriend)

When I'm done with thinking

WARNING: THIS IS A VERY RANDOM POST WITH NO PARTICULAR SUBJECT OR THEME

So this song came on my Ipod today at work and I'm not even sure what it is even though I've heard it a hundred times but it simply states 'when I'm done with thinking then I'm done with you' and it made me smile to myself because at that very moment I was starting to zone off thinking 'I wonder what Kasey is doing right now' which is something that crosses my mind probably every... 5 mins! Yesterday I took the Five Languages of Love test and I made Kasey take it as well, I already knew what mine would be but it was fun to get his results! He doesn't open up about much so I have a hard time reading him sometimes, I think that mostly is because he's 7000 miles away and we really only get to talk on Yahoo IM (which SUCKS! I do NOT recommend trying to have a relationship through IM to anyone!!!) Anyways I think one of my favorite parts about being in a relationship if learning new thing about that person and learning about the things they love! For example Kasey plays the guitar (which is SUPER hot!) so one day when he was home on leave he tried to show me how to hold an acoustic because I want to learn and I felt SO stupid because I could hardly get my fingers around the thing! But it was so much fun for me to have him sit there and very patiently help me play two cords, lol I don't really see myself going anywhere with it but it was great! Stuff like that means the world to me, just spending 'real' time together!

Its funny to me when I talk to my friends that are in the service and I say 'oh so n so told me to tell you thank you' and they respond with 'for what?' I always just want to smack them and be like 'oh i don't know how about signing your life away and risking it and putting yourself in harms way to keep us safe and standing up for our country' but I always just smile and say 'for being an amazing person and serving in the military!' then 9 times outta 10 I get the eye roll with 'I'm just doing my job' Well to that I say THANK YOU! (below is a picture of my SUPER HOT beau!)
Oh I keep forgetting to post pictures of my flowers, they are going to be so pretty this year, and my Wisteria is growing back and I can't wait for it to start blooming! I'm worried though that my honeysuckle vines didn't make it through the winter :( I'll be so upset if they didn't! But I'll just have to get some new ones maybe a little 'heftier' ones this year. Anyways I'll garden post later when I'm at home with pictures! Oh and I'll have to put up a before picture (the garden looks pretty out of control right now! There are flowers just growing everywhere mixed with weeds and in no order) It actually looks like i took a box of Johny Jump UP seeds and covered my entire garden with them lol at least there pretty right? Well back to work.. :(