I blog, well sometimes more than that! I keep telling my self I need to blog and then I realize the only things I want to talk about are probably really boring to everyone else and so I don't say anything. I've always thought that I must be a really annoying person. I talk A LOT and I'm loud. I do listen really well but if no one else is talking I will, and I LOVE to chat with people... so therefore I must be annoying right? I catch myself randomly stopping a conversation or leaving a room because I realize that I'm annoying myself so I must be annoying everyone else around me as well. It's weird I know.. but just something I've always felt. Anyways... Kasey is coming home in 10 1/2 days and I can't wait!! We are going to spend Christmas morning with his family at his Grandmas house and then that afternoon we are getting in the car and driving to California to spend Christmas night and the day after with all of my family! Its going to be wonderful! I'm sure he's going to want to die because I plan on playing Christmas carols most of the way there even though he thinks they are 'annoying' maybe he just hasn't heard the right ones?
On a totally different note, the last few months I've been really down on my 'photography skills' if you can call them that. I look at what I want to be and where I want my level of skill to be, and I am no where close, not even with in reach and its so frustrating. I am sadly envyious (even though I know I shouldn't be) of stay at home moms or similar people that don't have to work a 8-5 job everyday just to pay the bills and can go take pictures whenever they want of whatever they choose and improve their skills to perfection. I sit in an office all day and when I get done I'm so tired from the day of stress I just want to relax, and worse in the winter by the time I leave work its to dark to take pictures or to cold! I think all the time 'if I didn't have to work I could take pictures all day long...' or 'well its no wonder they are getting so much better than they used to be, thats all they do is take pictures whenever they want. They don't have to work all day' these are REALLY bad thoughts, they are just excuses for me to.. more or less lack in skill. This is a double sided blade, because the more I think my skills are failing the less motivated I am to take pictures, then I get 'lazy' I don't want to set up the shots, I only want to take pictures of certain things, I don't want to use a tripod even if I should and I most certainly do NOT want to set my lighting and shutter speeds etc. so instead I turn the camera to Auto and go from there. The problem with that is then I have to edit my photos :( which I am not a huge fan of having to do major edits! I prefer to set up my shots and have just minor adjustments to make. So since I'm getting married and I have been looking for a photographer to shoot my wedding day pictures and although it is YES 100% one of the most difficult decisions that I think I will ever have to make in my life, it has also been a HUUUUUGE eye opener that even though I may not be at the level which I would like to be, I am good at what I do, and I do have a talent and I am not the worst photographer in the world like I have been thinking lately. Better yet I just need to find my passion again, and more so my confidence! I just am in complete shock at what some people will call 'Professional Photography' I'm sorry but having a really nice camera and taking a few pictures with it does NOT make you a Professional, nor does really weird edits that you think are 'cool' in photoshop. One of the things I learned while studying photography at the Y is that no matter how long you've been taking pictures and how much you 'know' things are always changing and you can always learn more. So after the holidays I've got a few classes I'm going to take from different photogs to help me find my 'passion' again.... that's the goal anyway!
On a totally different note, the last few months I've been really down on my 'photography skills' if you can call them that. I look at what I want to be and where I want my level of skill to be, and I am no where close, not even with in reach and its so frustrating. I am sadly envyious (even though I know I shouldn't be) of stay at home moms or similar people that don't have to work a 8-5 job everyday just to pay the bills and can go take pictures whenever they want of whatever they choose and improve their skills to perfection. I sit in an office all day and when I get done I'm so tired from the day of stress I just want to relax, and worse in the winter by the time I leave work its to dark to take pictures or to cold! I think all the time 'if I didn't have to work I could take pictures all day long...' or 'well its no wonder they are getting so much better than they used to be, thats all they do is take pictures whenever they want. They don't have to work all day' these are REALLY bad thoughts, they are just excuses for me to.. more or less lack in skill. This is a double sided blade, because the more I think my skills are failing the less motivated I am to take pictures, then I get 'lazy' I don't want to set up the shots, I only want to take pictures of certain things, I don't want to use a tripod even if I should and I most certainly do NOT want to set my lighting and shutter speeds etc. so instead I turn the camera to Auto and go from there. The problem with that is then I have to edit my photos :( which I am not a huge fan of having to do major edits! I prefer to set up my shots and have just minor adjustments to make. So since I'm getting married and I have been looking for a photographer to shoot my wedding day pictures and although it is YES 100% one of the most difficult decisions that I think I will ever have to make in my life, it has also been a HUUUUUGE eye opener that even though I may not be at the level which I would like to be, I am good at what I do, and I do have a talent and I am not the worst photographer in the world like I have been thinking lately. Better yet I just need to find my passion again, and more so my confidence! I just am in complete shock at what some people will call 'Professional Photography' I'm sorry but having a really nice camera and taking a few pictures with it does NOT make you a Professional, nor does really weird edits that you think are 'cool' in photoshop. One of the things I learned while studying photography at the Y is that no matter how long you've been taking pictures and how much you 'know' things are always changing and you can always learn more. So after the holidays I've got a few classes I'm going to take from different photogs to help me find my 'passion' again.... that's the goal anyway!
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