Heartbeat

Yesterday I had a Dr's apt, my 13 week check up. I've been worried they wouldn't hear anything and that I wouldn't really have a baby in me, so to hear our little peach sized baby's heart beat was a HUGE relief.  It seemed to only last for a second before the Dr took the mic off my belly and handed me a model of what a 12 week old fetus looks like and started talking to Kasey and I about it. The entire visit was almost surreal! 

I guess I've just never been good at this kind of thing... being overly excited and/or emotional about real life. I almost feel like I'm faking my excitement for everyone else and because I don't want to sound like I don't care, because I do, just in my own quiet non vocal non teary eyed way. People say its one of the best sounds in the world and to me... well it was just a heart beat. I want to hear my baby cry and hold it, and rock it, not listen to its heart beating through a little device in my Dr's hands. 

Like I said, I'm not good at being emotional. I didn't cry when I got engaged, I didn't cry when I got married, I didn't cry yesterday when we heard our babys heart beating for the first time, and I most likely wont cry {unless from pain} when the baby is born. Its just not who I am, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and excited, it just means I'm not gushy about it. So when you ask me how it was to hear the heart beat and I say "it was really nice" I literally mean it was so nice to finally hear it, but don't expect me to explode with excitement and go on and on about how amazing it was because that's simply not who I am. 

So if I don't seem as excited as I "should" when you ask me about being prego or heartbeats or kicking, I'm sorry, but I am truly 100% excited.