This weekend...

Last weekend was really good for me! I was able to watch most of the J* creative live broadcast and I learned SO much!! I am so excited to go to WPPI in February and learn even more from her and everyone else that's there! The only problem was I went around the house all weekend depressed realizing what I want, and how close I am and yet how far away I actually am from my goals! But I was truly inspired and there is nothing that can change that, THANKFULLY!  I've got to stop hiding behind my fears, and just ask questions and learn, and fail so that I can do better the next time!

On a side note, this weekend is going to be great as well, Kasey and I are going to Vegas for a night to just get away :) mom is babysitting Sophie and it will be nice to sleep in with out taking a potty break at 6:30 with my dog who gets distracted and ends up finding a stick to play with and then 20 mins later we finally make it back into the house! Thankfully I take my blanket and Kasey has one of our camp chairs set up and I just hang out until she's done!

ksl comments section

I'm sorry, this is a rant of sorts. Short and sweet and simply put, I seriously HATE the comments section of the KSL news articles! Why are people so blind at just how rude they are?! They use them for a place to start arguments that turn into bashing of everyone and I'm sick of it! If you're going to comment on an article about someone that has lost their life, please DON'T turn it into your personal opinion on whats happening in DC or the border or anything else, or try to blame and cast reasons and judgments, Simply give your condolences for the family and move on. The police will figure it out with facts and evidence, not your 'personal opinion' that has nothing to do with the story. If you want to argue about stupid things take it to a forum or a chat room, not the news article about someone losing their life!!   

Is this normal?

So lately I've been getting SUPER irritated at work very easily!  The month or so before the wedding I was blaming it on that, but the wedding came and went and I'm still getting bugged by everything and when you think about it, its really small stupid things! Some people bother me worse then others, for instance there are a few people that just having them walk by me makes me annoyed, or knowing they are probably going to come and ask me a stupid question I want to put a huge wall up so I don't have to deal with anyone ever again! I can't figure out why this is, I used to be such a happy person, I liked everyone and got along with most people!  I am just so annoyed by everyone lately, maybe its because I am just sick of my surroundings, I'm frustrated with people not doing what they are supposed to, and done with dealing with idiots! I thought that having a two week break from life and laying on the beach with Kasey for a week would take care of my problem, but as soon as I was back in the daily grind I was right back to being just as grouchy as ever! Maybe I should warn my co-workers by putting up a sign that says: 

'Beware, I'm feeling EXTRA bitchy today!' 

Then at least I gave them fair warning right?! 

Please if anyone has any ideas on how to make my happy again I'll try anything!!

Stressed and frustrated...

Today I am stressed... stressed about life, money, Kasey's job, going on vacation, and mostly being frustrated with just wanting to do what I love and not being able to! I'm sick of having to do a desk job to pay the bills because I'm not known enough to just do Photography. I'm also frustrated with myself for being afraid to just go for it, I'm afraid I'll end up being like one of those people on American Idol that everyone just laughs at and is in shock that the person really thinks that actually have any talent in the singing department at all, but they got that way because their entire life no one had the guts to pull them aside and say, "hey Steve, you really suck, probably should find something else to do" I'm worried the same thing will happen with my photography, everyone I know has just been to loving to tell me how horrible I really am, because if I really was good then wouldn't I be at least kind of well known by now?! Maybe its because I hide myself I don't know...  either way, something has to change and FAST I'm going crazy, all I do is sit around every day thinking about how badly I just want to be out taking pictures while instead I'm stuck behind my 4x8 cubical prison! I've got an artist in me and its betting for me to let it out... unfortunately my mortgage doesn't care about my creative side or what I want, it just wants to be paid :(